GENERAL RULES OF CONDUCT

Roxie's Rules will be followed when there are guests present. Below is a copy of the rules as passed down to Stirling Friendly, who denies using any mind-altering substances at the time.


Roxy's Rules

For Stirling was walking on Fox Poop Hill, and lo, a spirit appeared beside her, and it was the ghost of Roxy, her great grandmother's favorite horse. And Roxy spake unto Stirling and said:

"Though I lived in a stable all my life, still know I the ways of houses, and yet have horse sense. And I say unto you, post such rules as I shall give, and all your party shall live together in peace and harmony and though there be many, yet still wilt thou be sane."

And these were The Rules:

  1. Everyone must be out of bed by 11:00a.m.

  2. No food or drink downstairs.

  3. For every dish you dirty, wash two. If you can't find a second dish, clean a sink, wipe a counter, or put some food away.

  4. Food in the drinks fridge is for dinner and should not be eaten any other time.

  5. Checkout the garbage rules and OBEY!

  6. No smoking inside. Smoking on the porch or outside is unhealthy and frowned upon, but permitted.

  7. Take one towel and treasure it. Your towel can be hung on the line outside, at the beach, or in the bathrooms. Wash it when it is dirty.

  8. Feel free to do your own laundry. Feel free to do someone else's.

  9. No piles of wombat do (e.g., books, sunglasses, clothing, shoes, etc.) left around. Things not in use should be stored in closets downstairs, on or under beds, in your own car - basically out of sight of Stirling.

  10. Dogs are children who eat off the floor. They should be loved and obeyed. Always take dogs on walks.

  11. Negotiate music selection and volume among all parties within range of the sound.

  12. Last one awake and upstairs at night make sure stereo and ALL lights are off.

  13. Be in a good mood or take your bad mood elsewhere.

  14. Respect Apollo. Remember Icarus and Daedalus. The recommended SPF
    for all days is 25.

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